Monday, March 30

My reality this year

At about this time last year, I came to the conclusion that I wasn't in love with someone anymore. I wrote about it here because this is my outlet. It's where I document, where I confess.

That was my reality. "I'm not in love with you anymore."

It went over pretty well. Thought Catalog even published it. But it didn't take away from the hurt of that realization. Loving someone is absolutely beautiful, and falling out of love -- that's beautifully tragic. Or put simply: that hurts like hell. 

But this year's reality is different. 

I'm not in love. Part of me would like to be, but I'm not. No one out there has made me feel those butterflies. And so I'm not falling out of love, either. 

I'm just happy -- happy with who I am and where I'm going. Happy with how damn far I've come in a year. 364 days actually. 

My reality this year is one of honesty and of telling things how they are. It's one of tolerating less bullshit and giving less BS, too. 

It's this: If you want to do something, do it. And if you don't want to do something, don't do it. Stop making excuses. 

If you want to travel the world, hop on a plane. And if you want to indulge in a day of Friends on Netflix, then plop on your couch with some pizza and binge on (I know I just did). Excuses are empty, and who's to judge?

We're adults now, right? Or at least we like to think we are.

It's time we stop playing games. It's time we stop lying to get out of things we don't want to do. Just don't do it. 

Stop making excuses to say hello. Just say hello. And if you want to come over, just do so. Stop overthinking. 

My reality this year is this: Speak your mind and follow your heart. Do what you want and don't be ashamed by it.

Own the hell out of it.



With love,
Natalie

P.S. Some cabernet sauvignon facilitated the writing of this post. ;) ¡Los quiero!

Tuesday, February 3

January 2015: I haven't forgotten my resolutions (yet)

It's been a minute, y'all. After some consistent blogging at the end of the year -- both here and at GrownUpish -- I've sorta fallen off.

After a snowy trip to Chicago, I figured it was time to catch you up on 2015. It is 1/12 over already.

So,

I've been yoga-ing. We'll call it that. I've identified some of my strengths and weaknesses through my practice. It's always a challenge and I love it.

That said, I've also started to work on my "fitness." For me it's not so much about looking leaner (my abs are there already, thank you mom), but about feeling stronger. So I've signed up for Class Pass for $100/mo and am going to all the classes: barre, pilates, bikram, spinning. If you don't go they charge you $20, and ain't nobody got the $$$ for that. More on Class Pass soon on GrownUpish. :)


Work (at BodenPR) has been busy. Busy, busy, but always in the good, challenging way. I'm such a fan of our clients and the work we're doing every.single.day. And the traveling has begun with this 1-day trip to Chicago. It was cold.


I've also done some fun stuff with friends and family. Housewarmings, BBQs, Chili Cookoff and blurry weekend nights to name a few. Brad Paisley reminded me I want a man with a truck and a guitar. (My mouth to God's ears?)


I called my ex out on Twitter for lurking. Sin pelos en la lengua. And I'm rekindling some old friendships, because we're grownups and, who cares? Over the nonsense and passive aggression.

I celebrated my little sister's birthday. It's hard to believe she's 8 already. Love her more than she knows.


I Gator chomped dangerously close to an actual gator. You can check 'em out up close and personal at Shark Valley. But if you ain't a Gator, you're Gator bait.


And this tweet happened. I'm still getting notifications.


Looking forward to the next 11/12 of the year. I have a feeling everything's falling into place quite nicely. :D

With love,
Nat

Wednesday, December 31

2015 New Year's Resolutions

Can you all believe the year is over? I'm sitting here wondering where the time went. I mean, did it literally fly by?

With the end of the year comes the annual "New Year's Resolutions" post. So here I am on December 31 sipping hot cocoa and writing away.

What I love most about the end of the year is that it's both the perfect time for reflection and progress. Look back but only to spring you forward.

So I took a look at my 2014 resolutions, or as I prefer to call them, mantras:

  • Live in the now.
  • Let yourself feel. 
  • Take risks. 

And looking back, I'm happy with where those resolutions took me. This year was one of immense growth - personally and professionally. I learned to trust myself and my emotions. I learned that making decisions based on those emotions was not only OK but what I preferred. And I took risks. Not jumping-off-a-cliff risks, but small ones. 

What I love most is that I didn't forget my resolutions, because I lived by them. They're the advice I tell myself on the day-to-day and the advice I share with friends.

This year, I'm keeping it even simpler. 

There are two things I want out of 2015:

Be courageous. 
Just go for it. I'm scared all the time. We'd be lying if we said we weren't. But I want that fear to push me to do bigger and better things. A few days ago, I decided I'd go for a tripod pose in yoga. I've been practicing on and (mostly) off for about a year, but it was until this week that I decided to go for that inversion. Why? Because I was scared. It didn't seem natural. But when I tried, it came easily. That was natural. In 2015, I want to continue to push myself outside of that comfort zone in all aspects of life. 

Be strong. 
Mentally and physically. This is the year I'll finally take care of myself for myself. I'm not aiming for #gainsss or any of that. I just want to be healthy and strong. I want my arms to not tremble when I move into a headstand. And I want to accept and encourage moments of vulnerability. I want to fall so I can learn. Because you're only as strong as you are vulnerable. 

I'm so excited for 2015. 

And here's where I get a little sappy: I'm grateful for each and every one of you. Thank you for following my journey and for being my support system, my outlet. You da real MVPs. 

Wishing you all the very best for the New Year! I have an inkling it's gonna be a good one. 

Con todo el cariƱo,
Natalie


A look back at my New Year's posts throughout the years:

Monday, December 22

2.5 Months of Travel in 2014

I managed to travel every single month this year -- a total of 2.5 months combined. I attribute that to my New Year's Venezuelan tradition of running around the block with my luggage... and of course, to our clients.

It's been an incredible year on planes to the Northeast, the West Coast and, most of all, to Chicago. And I've learned several travel tips along the way.

It was one hell of a year.


January
Yep, that's me making my way around my best friend's block with my luggage in 5-inch heels. That was my wish for a year of travel. 

I made it out to Chicago that month, too, to pitch McDonald's. No big, right? 



February
It was a low-key travel month. I drove up to Gainesville to spend time with friends, trespassed into some private properties, enjoyed the "woods" and danced the night away. 



March
I spent the first week of March in Chicago for our McDonald's on-boarding. That's right - we found out in February that we'd won the McDonald's account! I was effin' freezin' while my friends were enjoying Spring Break, but I didn't hate it. 



April
Chicago again, this time for Hamburger University. And yes, I did graduate from HU. Biggest accomplishment of 2014? I also dropped my phone in a toilet that trip.



May
You guessed it: Chicago. But this time with another client, and I stayed in downtown for a whole week. I did all the touristy things, including this incredible view from the Hancock building. 


I also made it back out to Gainesville to watch some of my best friends graduate. 



June

June took me to New York for a McDonald's event. It'd been two years since I'd been back to the city that stole my heart in summer of 2012. I got to see some college friends AND meet Joey Fatone and Tyson Beckford. Whattttt. 




July
I spent the 4th of July and first parts of the month in Boston visiting my bosslady best friend, Diana. This was my first ever real-world vacation. We kayaked, watched fireworks and had plenty of brews. What an incredible city.



Then I ended the month in Houston for a client event. The food was DELICIOUS (though I didn't enjoy the city all that much).



August
Chicago again to talk multicultural things. Look how beautiful the Hyatt Lodge is!



September
I made it out to Chicago again (told you it was often!), but I also drove up to Orlando to visit my parents. Kare and I took Khaely to Disney and Frozen on Ice. Such good family times.



October
My first trip to Los Angeles happened in October for a McDonald's education event -- but I ate In-N-Out (eek!). I also walked the Hollywood Walk of Fame. And earlier in the month, I made it up to Gainesville with Danitza for the Luke Bryan Farm Tour. 




November
My final trip to Chicago! Part of the lake was frozen. I literally watched the seasons change there. 


And then I made it out to San Fran on vacation to visit my bosslady Googler, Lizi, for a #GrownUpish Thanksgiving. Wine, food, wine, food, wine. Need I say more?




December
I almost made it out to Chicago again. But luckily, I'm just spending this one at home with family and friends.

I couldn't have asked for a better year. 

P.S. I did earn my AA gold status. ;) And I only paid for two of these trips. #doublewin

Thursday, December 11

A Note to You: June

Sometimes I write notes to people. They're cathartic notes that I'll never share with them, almost a look in my diary. But I'll share this one with you because it was a turning point for me this year. 

This is so incredibly convoluted. I like you and I care for you and I love you. I’m just not sure I’m in love with you. I can fall in love with you. Am I falling in love with you? But can I even trust you? 
It feels right when I’m with you. But maybe it’s just because I haven’t found who’s really right. And I think you think we’re it. That we’re gonna be together. One day. When you’re ready. How do I tell you I’m not so sure? 
That I want to be sure it’s you. That I want it to be you. But that I just don’t know. 
We connect. It’s like BAM BOOM WOW. It’s all sorts of perfect. And even when it’s just the two of us, together, alone, it’s perfect. We fit. 
But there are so many layers to you. So many women after you. So many little secrets and little things you wouldn’t be able to give. Or you wouldn’t want to give up. 
There are so many little things I wouldn’t trust. And quite honestly, I know we wouldn’t last. It’s so unlikely. But I stay. Because you’re comfortable. We’re comfortable. And because when it’s just us, you make me happy. You make me smile. It’s cheesy. 
I don’t know if to give it a try. If I’m making a fool of myself. I just don’t know what you want me to do. That would be so much easier. Because I don’t know what I want to do. 
I’m scared none of it would work – and then what was it all for? Why would we take the jump? If it didn’t work once, why would it work again? It won’t. And I think we both know that. We want to pretend it’s not true, but we know it is. 
You don’t want to go back and give up your life for me. It doesn’t make sense to you. 
I just don’t know how serious you would be. And I don’t know what I want. I don’t know if I want to give it a shot. I’m pretending that I don’t hear your comments (“why is it so easy with us” “so what happens when I leave”). 
I’m afraid to get hurt. That it won’t be right. And that this time, it’ll be me breaking your heart.

Sunday, December 7

We blur the lines


We blur the lines. Not cross them, just blur them. But it’s a blurry night anyway.

We’re drunk on beers and whiskey. You’re drunk on me, and I like it that way. It’s always been this way.

You touch me – softly, slightly. It’s the kind of touch you only want the two of us to know. Until you want everyone to know. Then it’s protective. It’s territorial. It’s your hand moving down the small of my back.

It’s “She’s mine.” But I’m not.

And I let you. Because, yes, I like it that way.

I grab your hand and take you with me. And you let me because you can’t control it. (Tell me what it is I do that drives you crazy.)

We dance and dance some more. Because dancing is just dancing until my hand’s on your neck and I’m pressed against your chest.  

It’s just the two of us. I’m lost in you and us and this thing we do. And we laugh because it’s so easy. It’s so easy to be like this. It’s who we are, how we are.  

But we only blur the lines.

Because I’m not yours, and I don’t want to be yours.

Not for more than just tonight, that is.



My favorite Tinder match will make you smile

I found this guy on Tinder, and he's by far my favorite match.

In the sea of papi chulos and DJ wannabes, his profile was completely unexpected. It took me .1 seconds to swipe right, and it was probably one of the first times I initiated conversation.

Meet Mike, a 29-year-old living in New York.


Mike photoshopped himself into photos of some of our favorite TV shows - The Brady Bunch, GoT, How I Met Your Mother. And they're perfect.



I messaged Mike asking what inspired him to make this profile. (After all, he'd obviously put in some work to make it happen.) He said,

"I kno a lot of people turn to online dating during some hectic times in their life, so I figured it would be nice to lighten the mood a bit and give everyone something to smile about :-)"
Rock on, Mike. Rock on.